Offshore
Episode 24: Summer Bloom
I have never edited a chapter as hard as I did this one. Really hope it lands the way I wanted it to!
As the dewy cool of the evening settled over the coast, the pair hailed a taxi in the marina’s parking. Small details slipped over them as they boarded the car and departed: how the driver recognised them and congratulated them on the win, how in the backseat the lights of storefronts cast strobing beams over their faces.
Something hung over them—nothing unpleasant, but so heavy with anticipation that Anqien felt like they might burst. There was small talk, but not enough. Jinai peered out the window to her left, but they shuffled left and right in their seat, fighting to push their attention away from the omnipresent atmosphere of things not being said.
Each time the taxi turned, their hands bumped against each other. After a while, Anqien began to wonder if Jinai was letting it happen on purpose, or if it was all them. They shivered at her touch, wondering if it was time yet to talk. But they glanced up at the driver and kept their silence.
Alighting from the ride on Jinai’s street corner, they watched till the vehicle had disappeared around the next bend. Then Jinai began up the stairs outside her apartment, craggy and weathered in the dark, and waved her companion after her. The air was sweet and heavy with the scent of pear blossoms, opening at the touch of rain and heat.
Locking the door behind them, Jinai flung her bag onto her dining chair and wandered to her bed beyond the wooden screen. She threw herself into the sheets and tugged once on the bedside lamp switch, while Anqien dropped their bag by the same chair, in the shadows cast by that cosy light. They waited, breath slowing. She flipped over and waved them towards herself.
Anqien meandered over, and set themself down at the corner of her bed.
“Hey, don’t be shy now,” Jinai laughed, “make yourself at home.”
Anqien shuffled closer, a hand on the sheets. “Thanks for having me over,” they said.
“Thank you for coming.” She rolled her right shoulder. “How are you feeling?”
“Nervous,” they said. “Not in a bad way, just, restless. Like...there's a lot that needs to be said.”
She twirled a lock of hair around one finger. “That makes both of us. We should probably talk about it, huh?”
Their pulse doubled its pace. “Y...eah.” I sure hope we're thinking of the same thing.
She looked away. “So, um, the night before the race.”
Alright, we are thinking of the same thing. “Yes,” they replied. “The ferry. Dinner. And, uh...”
Jinai pressed her fingers to her temple. “I still can't believe myself. I'm not sure what was going through my head at the time, but I feel real bad about it.”
Anqien paused. “No, don't—”
“Said one thing, then did another, then pulled a hundred and eighty immediately. Could have helped if I'd just made up my mind. About what I wanted.”
“We’ve had this race looming over us this whole time,” they replied, leaning in. “So I figured maybe stress was part of it.” They fidgeted, fingers wrinkling the sheet. “I mean, I was confused, but also…I was the one who decided the day before the final was a good time to, you know, confess my feelings.”
“Yeah, and I kinda forced your hand on that,” Jinai answered, tilting her head. “It was very cute, by the way.”
“Ah. I.” Their face burned. They had no idea where to look. “Thank you.”
“Thank you,” she replied, “for being the one to cut to the chase.” She rose from her nest of pillows, watching them so intently that it brought a lump to their throat. “I’ve thought about it a lot, you know, both before and after that. Trying to figure out how I feel about you, and us. And mostly, what I feel is...fear.”
Their breath hitched. “Fear of?”
“That you could do better than me.”
All the sympathetic replies they had been preparing scattered from their mind. “Excuse me, that’s my line,” they muttered.
“Come on, have you even seen yourself?” she retorted. “You’re so much more than you think. More than anyone has ever told you, clearly.” With each word Jinai inched closer. “You remember what you said that evening, right? That you couldn’t imagine me being interested in you.”
They winced. “Yeah, I did.”
“Well, frankly, that's just unfair. I mean, it’s hard not to like you, you know? And it’s not just me who thinks that, either—sorry for noticing, but so many people flirt with you, it’s actually ridiculous.” As she said this, Anqien became vaguely aware that she was now within arm’s reach, every glimmer in her eye bright as a star. “I wish I could change your mind. I want you to like yourself. Because that would make me happy, too. Sorry if that’s self-centred.”
“What do you mean, ‘self-centred,’ that’s—”
She shook her head. “It’s just….ugh, how do I say this?" She clutched at her face, drawing a huge breath. "It's not just that I like you as a person, though I do. I just really thought I was done with this city, after last year. But you…you make me feel like I could discover it all again. You know?”
She was hunching her shoulders, readying to deflect a blow, but by now they had stopped breathing.
Anqien only stared back, trying to find a reply. How did this make sense? For years, they had learned to sail together, and grown from teammates to friends, yet she had always seemed a distant star on the horizon. For years they had watched from afar, always believing the pleasure of the friendship theirs—that she couldn’t possibly enjoy it as much as they did.
But she could, and she had—and perhaps even saw them, in a way they couldn't see themself, like a sailor gazing at a city from the sea. What were they meant to make of this?
This jumble of thoughts came out of their mouth as: “Me? Are you sure?”
“Anqien...” Jinai began to laugh. They could hear a tremble in her voice. “I’m so sorry about jerking you around these past weeks. You deserved better than that. I think...I knew what I wanted, but I was so scared to admit it, to get hurt again. Or to hurt you. Everything about it scared me, really, but…”
Her face was changing, like the dawn spilling over the night sky: the slackening of her brow, the rending terror in her smile.
“Oh, Jinai,” Anqien whispered, finally reaching across the gap to lay a hand on her arm. “Don’t be sorry. After everything that’s happened, you deserve everything good in the world.”
Their breath caught as she snatched their shoulders and steered them to face her. There was something new in her eyes: a hunger. “Everything good, you say?” she breathed. “Including you?”
They fought to meet her gaze, but it was like looking at the sun. “If, if you want me—”
“I do. I want you more than the damn world. But do you—”
“Yes!” They managed the one breathless syllable, before passing beyond the point of words. Jinai needed to hear nothing else—as if she'd been waiting all evening to do so, she pounced, twisting them onto the sheets with rope-hardened hands. They felt their head hit the blanket, her hands and knees press them down. Panting, she found their mouth with hers, and they parted their lips helplessly, clawing her towards themself.
Twining like ropes in the wind, they made up for all that time spent in limbo—fingers tangling in hair, lips locked in an onslaught of kisses. Anqien felt their thoughts carried away by updrafts of bliss till Jinai's blazing touch brought them crashing back down, a seastorm tearing the tide.
Everything glowed; everything moved slow around them. Like city lights burning through the rain.
It was a solid fifteen, twenty minutes—time was far out of their minds—before they finally came up for air. Anqien lay staring at the ceiling, heat seeping through every inch of their body. “Um, Jinai?” they mumbled.
Jinai sank onto her side next to them, watching with gentle eyes. “Yeah, what’s up?”
“This isn’t just for tonight, right?”
Grinning, she cupped their cheek with her palm and turned their head to face her. “No, no, no, I want you forever, if I could be that greedy. Not unless you want it to be over by the morning.”
“Nope! Please, take me forever.” At the pleading in their voice, she surged across the gap between them and began to steal more hungry kisses.
Anqien had never known the meaning of too much isn’t enough till now. Jinai—best friend, teammate, love of their life—was all they had to think about, and it all felt natural, though never before so unreal.
Jinai had not shared her bed in two years. To her surprise, it did not resurface any of the memories she had feared it would; her mind was too full of her teammate and now partner to care. While she reorganised the pillows at the headboard, Anqien gathered the crumpled quilt to their face and breathed in deeply.
Tucking one pillow under their head, she wrapped her half-dozing partner up in her blanket and pressed a little kiss to their cheek, then tucked herself under her coverlet beside them.
By now, the exhaustion had its steel grip on her, and it urged her sweetly into the dark of sleep. She curled up next to them, gazing at their serene visage until she drifted off herself.
Jinai awoke with a ray of light across the foot of the bed, slanting from the window by the bathroom door. Crawling from the last dregs of sleep, she stretched out her arms and immediately bumped someone else’s limb to her right.
“Oh, hey, morning,” said the voice of her teammate.
Jinai’s head whipped around. Anqien was there, reclining against her headboard with a couple of pillows tucked under their back. Their hair hung untied and uncombed over their shoulders.
Hastily smoothing down the mop of curls on her own head, she fought to reassemble yesterday in her head...
She flopped in their direction, landing face down with one arm over their lap. “Is this real?” she groaned.
They laid a hand between her shoulder blades, rubbing circles on her back. “If it isn’t, then we’re both dreaming,” they replied. “And I’d like to keep dreaming, thank you.”
“Mm…I love you. So much. My favourite person in the world.” She felt them squirm, and looked up to see them covering their cheeks with their hands.
She finally flipped back over and crawled up against the headboard with them, tucking her head in the crook of their shoulder. She felt their arms encircle her gently, adjusting a few times, till they had sunk into a comfortable cuddle. She closed her eyes with a sigh, soaking the moment in like sunlight.
“So, press and party this evening,” she murmured.
“Oops. I forgot.”
“Of course you did.” Jinai looked at Anqien. “You wanna head home to get ready?”
“All my best clothes are at home, so probably. Even if I wish I could just stay here forever.” They looked curiously at her, and she answered with a swift peck on the lips. They gasped, shaking themself sober. “Whoa! I’m gonna need to get used to this.”
“You say that like we’re not literally cuddling on my bed,” she answered, to which Anqien’s reply was to squeeze her closer. “How did it take so long.”
“You needed that time. Didn’t you?” They beamed back.
She nodded. “Speaking of time. We really need to get this day underway.” Crawling out of their current position, she gave Anqien a little prod on the forehead. “Save those smiles for later, you’ll need them.”
So, there's a slightly more NSFW version of the main scene of this chapter. No important additional content, it just goes into more detail, and reading it is fully optional. Click this link to see it (on Toyhouse, 18+ only)!